Copied from piratesonline.co
Posted by Davy Doubloon on July 1, 2017, midnight
Steeeeeeeep right up up here, ladies and gentlemen! I be presentin’ me latest and greatest addition to me collection: Snapdragon. Ye know, “snap” like the thing ye do with yer fingers -- and “dragon” too! Those be t’ fire breathin’ hell-forsaken deadly, err, adorable creatures that live on up in the caves. Once ye get yerself one of these puppies, ye’ll be as fierce as the dragons themselves!
-BOOM- AH! Oh dear heavens and Jolly Roger, did ye hear that? Those big boomers ar’ too noisy for me ears! And they’re gonna be scarin’ off me customers! Arrrrrrrrr! Tis’ that time of year again, every day from July 1st until July 7th at dark the Brethren be blowin’ off these darned explosives on Port Royal, Tortuga, and Padres del Fuego! They are too LOUD.
But, I can’t complain too much… hehe, these pirates be foolish enough to throw their parties on me shores! Hah, all the rum in t’ world is presented at me doorstep. I’ll do me best to not get any on yer outfit, mate. I ain’t in the business of keepin’ tabs on the quality of such attire.
These ‘parties’ they be throwin’ have grown in size too with these past few moons. Rumor has it that we be the center of a new trade route; it’s expected to be bringin’ at least 300 new pirates around these waters -- and you know what they say, once ye have a taste, ye’ll only want more. They’ll be lookin’ to stay… arrr, hope they spend a nickel or dime with me. With me prices though? I might be able to keep one of their arms or legs as a souvenir! Arrrrrr, hahaha!
Oooh hello, there be some new customers, err, pirates walkin’ on by me shop. Gotta run, would be a shame if they wouldn’t stop on by! Fair winds!